For Her Sake
by guillotineghost
Summary: Thirteen year old Ken Amada now lives alone as the last remaining member of SEES to reside in their old dormitory. He hasn't forgotten about her or the promises they made to one another. Angsty one shot, contains shota-esque themes and content. Protagonist is unnamed.


**A/N: So taking a quick break from my writing South Park, I had to write this and get it out of my system with Ken's new look being released recently. I love Ken so much and I have so many strong feelings about him. Most of which are sad.**

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It's been three years now, since she passed away in arms not strong enough to hold her. She'd went smiling at him, holding his hand—if she were still his, surely his hands would be bigger than hers by now. He thought about it as he flexed his fingers against his palms, trying to imagine her fingers laced between his and what it would look like now. The reflection before him, misted over from his morning shower, presented to him a young man who with light chocolate locks and a growing, lean body that puberty had been exceptionally kind to. He smudged his hand across the moisture to view himself more clearly as he grabbed the tooth brush to his right so that he could begin his day with a fresh taste in his mouth.

Ken Amada was still a good seven years her junior, but he'd grown exponentially in the past three years. He'd be taller than her already; she had always been short even compared to her peers.

His thoughts always wandered to her when he was left alone with them. The past couple of years had been especially rough with Yukari and Junpei graduating, leaving him the sole member of SEES that remained in school. The only human member, anyway. Thankfully, Koromaru was never far away, and the Shiba was always waiting for him outside of the school's gate every week day. He'd wagged his tail and spin around three times when he saw Ken come out of the double doors. The middle school student wondered if he knew that he didn't have any other friends, and that he could never hope to replicate the bonds he shared with SEES-not with peers who couldn't fathom a life without parents, birthdays, and dinner at a family table every night.

Perhaps the hardest part of living without her was that no one knew about them. He'd never even spoken about it to Koro-chan, who couldn't tell a soul even if he wanted to, and so he was forced to deal with the hole in his heart all by himself.

He was ten back then, though emotionally hardened by death for a soul so young, but no matter how stone cold set he was on killing his mother's murderer, he was still a kid who got flustered when the leader of their operation agreed to go out with him for lunch. He'd spoken about his favorite comics and characters like any excited elementary school student would, eyes lighting up at mentioning his favorite story arcs, and she'd listened with her elbows propped on the table attentively.  
She didn't scold him for still loving childish things or getting worked up; she _let_ him be himself and didn't drag the conversation with talk of Tartarus or shadows, which he assumed meant that she looked at him in a sisterly manner. Or maybe even in a motherly fashion. It made sense, given their age difference.  
He'd began thinking about just how _he_ viewed her after the third time they'd went on a date.

Of course he had a crush on her—why wouldn't he?—she had to be the most beautiful girl in high school and she was the spine of SEES. She was their leader, their tactician, and their moral rock. Throughout every full moon battle she'd kept her cool and at the unexpected turn in their journey she remained poised and determined to battle Nyx and defeat death. Akihiko blushed at her when they'd speak sometimes, even, and she turned his senpai down when seemingly without a second thought.  
No matter how much he liked her, he'd accepted that, to her, he's always be just a little boy who happened to hold the power of a persona.  
And that was okay, even if he still found his face suddenly getting hot when she took his hand under the table and slipped him a knowing grin, but he found himself asking her, anyway, "what am I to you?"

Ken had never expected her to say anything other than "a friend" or "a brother"—no, "someone special" was her response as she downed a few French fries. She'd delivered it with a soothing voice that reminded him of something he'd hear from a confession scene in his favorite Saturday morning cartoon. _"You're someone special to me, Ken. I really, really like you."_

He thought that maybe she was playing a cruel joke on him. Wasn't that something older girls did? Tease little boys with "hitting on" them and then laugh about it to their friends over nail painting and listening to reality shows? But she wasn't like that, this was their leader he was thinking about, so was she serious? He'd run all the way home afterwards, his heart at least a hundred miles ahead of him, and simmered in the night's conversation all the way until school let out the next day.

When they spoke about it again over a bowls or ramen the following Thursday before Dark Hour preparation, he had to ask if her feelings were genuine. He could understand if they weren't, after all, he was much younger than her and it wouldn't look good for her image to date someone a little less old than half her total lifetime, at least openly, and she had her pick of any high schooler.  
Besides, he felt that to be a good boyfriend, he would need to be able to protect her—something that, realistically, he couldn't have done back then. Akihiko was quick to point that out one night when she had doubled over in exhaustion from fighting a cold and shadows for too long. Ken offered to carry her on his back, to which his senpai mocked him and insisted that he'd just drag her around. That _he_ should be the one to carry her, being so much bigger and stronger.

Ken had actually made it a goal then and there to carry her on his back when he grew up. He'd do it every day if she wanted. He'd have the strength.

She didn't seem to be in a hurry for him to grow up, though, and told him that she loved him just as he was.

Ken thought that she was doing it just to be nice and spare his feelings, but she'd assured him that she was being sincere. She really did like him, and she wanted him all to herself.

Life seemed so much better after their confessions, despite the dire circumstances, with her sneaking him a quick kiss between battles inside the labyrinths of Tartarus when their teammates weren't looking. He wondered if Fuuka had ever caught them; maybe she'd told their soft spoken onlooker about them since they were so close, so Fuuka disregarded their sneaking affections. She'd never told him not to tell anyone, but he knew better than to cause ripples in their close knit squad by announcing it.

Ken still got butterflies thinking about how he'd let her into his room on their nights off. She'd taken to wearing his old house key around her neck on a silver chain, and he liked the sight of it between her breasts when she'd unbutton her uniform top and toss it to the corner of the room.  
He'd been a nervous kisser at first, but she'd patiently taught him the proper way to move his tongue in her mouth and wrap his arms around her bare waist. Her chest was larger than he'd thought, and he felt like his brain was going to explode when she'd let him touch them. They were soft and the nipples felt weird under his thumb. Her skin was so pale, and he wondered how someone who appeared so fragile could be their savior.  
He sometimes still wondered, if he hadn't been so nervous during their experimental fumbling around on his bed, if they could've gone all the way. What it would have been like to have truly united with her as one body and one spirit.

They'd never even gotten to undressing him, as he'd been too embarrassed to take off his shirt. He wasn't "ripped" like Akhiko, and he didn't have any natural buffness to speak of like Shinji had, so he didn't feel ready to expose himself like that. She'd been fine with that and snuggled him against her bare skin, anyway, and Ken would lie awake all night with a hard on.  
Not that he'd minded.

_I-I think I love you._

Presently, Ken was snapped out of his thoughts by Koro-chan barking outside of the bathroom door.

"I'm fine, boy, I'm fine." He wrapped a towel around his now more clearly defined hips and exited the bathroom as to assure his friend that he hadn't been carried down the shower drain by a hoard of water fairies. The canine peered his head into the hallway and gave a confirming bark when he saw his teammate going into his bedroom. He'd given his white canine companion his old jacket, and he was still strutting around in it like a show dog. It was endearing to see, and Ken hadn't wanted to toss his old hoodie, anyway, especially when it held so many memories to him.

They lived alone here; they were able to keep the SEES base thanks to Mitsuru's generosity, and that was how he liked it.

One day he'd march in here with her on his back. He'd get strong enough to climb up to the heavenly gate that she was sealed in and rip her out of it.  
He'd promised her that he'd always be there, and she'd swore it to him that she would let him. That she would smile for him, and she had—up until her last breath.

He was going to fulfill his part of their vows, no matter what, because he was in love with the girl who had died across his lap and sacrificed herself for a world that didn't deserve her kindness.

He finished dressing up and adjusted the yellow student council badge on the sleeve of his school uniform. He didn't like his peers, but he needed any extracurricular involvement possible as to make his educational record exemplary. He did want to eventually earn a degree that would allow him to earn a decent living for the rest of their lives once she was back.

Koromaru howled forebodingly from the living room.

"It's nearly eight already? Shoot, I'm going to be late." Ken bit his lip and grabbed his bag with a frustrated whine once he'd finished combing his hair. He gave Koro-chan a pet on the head before leaving to jog down the sidewalk and towards the junior high school. "I'll see you when I get home. Don't forget, I have a meeting today so I'll be a little late."

He didn't enjoy dealing with those people, the ever grinning, naïve everyday teenagers who thought that bake sells were the make it or break it events of their lives, but this was all for her sake, too.

Everything was.


End file.
